In Cinemas This Weekend: What is real for Colin Farrell?

Three films are released nationwide for you this weekend, and one that was released a few days ago that I thought I'd bring to your attention. This week sees a remake of an old film, which although looks sharp from the trailer, seems rather unnecessary considering the film it is. I do hope that I am proved wrong on this front and I'm sure I'll let you know on Monday as I would have thought it is the film I see this weekend. We also have yet another house/box horror story which I'm sure is based on a true story, and then we have a new version of The Hangover. I don't mean for this post to sound negative but all these new films seem to becoming less original by the year. Shame really as I bet there are some great ideas floating around in Hollywood. Anyway let's hope I'm made to eat my foot and that these films actually rock ass. Have a look at the new releases below.


1. Colin Farrell struggles with an identity crisis in the revamped remake TOTAL RECALL. No Arnie and no Mars in this version, where Farrell begins to question who he really is when a trip to an organisation that implant memories in your mind ends up becoming a bloodbath. Also starring: Bokeem Woodbine, Bryan Cranston, & Kate Beckinsale. What is real?

Total Recall trailer



2. Also released is THE POSSESSION. The films based on a true story about a young girl who acquires an antique box, only to open it and unleash a malicious ancient spirit which possess her body. Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays her father who desperately tries to remove the demon from her. Also starring: Natasha Calis, Kyra Sedgwick, & Jay Brazeau. Can they unleash the demon?

The Possession trailer



3. The Australian Hangover is our next release in A FEW BEST MEN, where the film is typically what the title is. One of four best friends decides to get married and the other three are given the task of being the best men. From here trouble ensures when everything they seem to do goes wrong. Sounds just like The Hangover to me. Starring: Laura Bent, Xavier Samuel, Kris Marshall, & Kevin Bishop. Are they the worst of the worst?

A Few Best Men trailer


4. Finally is the film released at the beginning of last week, THE WATCH. I felt I should bring this to your attention as it stars Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, and Vince Vaughn as protectors of the world against an alien invasion. Whilst patrolling their neighbourhood as the new found neighbourhood watch they stumble across an alien being and they become the only hope. Also starring: Billy Crudup. Will they protect the neighbourhood?

The Watch trailer

There are your new releases for the week and despite them being slightly unoriginal I'm sure one or two will take your fancy. With low expectations for these releases we could all be surprised and end up coming out seeing one of the better films of the year! Am I being slightly too positive now? I don't know you will have to wait till Monday and read my review on Total Recall, which I've already agreed with the other half that we will be seeing.

NEWS - A former Batman replaces Hugh Laurie as the villain in Robocop

So much news has been released this week in the movie world but not any of it has been particularly recurring or overly big, that is until today where I have found the same piece of news flashing up on many sights and I tell you it is actually fairly huge!!! A few months back I brought to your attention that Hugh Laurie had signed on for the role of the villain in the new Robocop. However last week it was announced that this was not the case and Mr Laurie had dropped out, which was disappointing as he was slowly growing on many as the villain of an iconic science fiction film. Well have no fears Robocop fans because it has been announced today that former Batman Michael Keaton has replaced Laurie, and honestly I think that is a better casting option. Granted I'm sure Laurie would have been great in the role but for me Keaton brings something new to every role he is in. From Beetlejuice to The Other Guys Keaton has always been brilliant in his roles, and I am utterly convinced that he will do this new role justice.

The film is beginning to generate news with director Jose Padilha recently stating that working on the film has so far been 'hell'. Well let's hope that this great piece of casting will cheer him up and make us even more excited for the release of this film next year. Nothing has been announced on the shooting front but it has been stated that the cast has been finalised, with talent coming from the likes of Joel Kinnaman, Samuel L Jackson, and Gary Oldman. All I can say is Keaton is about to throw his weight around amongst some pretty fantastic actors. 

QUESTION: Best movie spy?

As this week I saw a disappointing entry to the Bourne franchise I have decided to ask you guys out there who you think is your favourite movie spy. There are five options below, with them ranging from super franchise spies to parody spoof spies, either way they are both a lot of fun. I can't decide which one I like best as it all depends on which movie I like best. Regardless of movie however I don't want to know the one whose movie you prefer I want to know the spy who is your favourite as a character. Take a look below and put your favourite in the comments.

1. JAMES BOND - Probably the most well known movie spy out there. Spawning 22 movies thus far with one more to be released in October of this year, Bond has been a constant hero on screen with some of the best lines and best action sequences.

2. JASON BOURNE - With the new Bourne not actually starring Jason Bourne you will need to look at the first three films to know who I mean. The hero with amnesia who will do all he can to find the reason he finds himself in a web of conspiracy. Has some of the best fight sequences, helped by expert direction.

3. JOHNNY ENGLISH - Super spy who is a mock of James Bond himself. Rowan Atkinson plays the lead role as he heads off to solve global corruption but not all goes according to plan since he is the World's biggest klutz.

4. ETHAN HUNT - Tom Cruise plays Ethan Hunt in the Mission Impossible franchises. The films have technological edge to them but also have lots of action which genuinely sees Hunt hanging from something tall.

5. AUSTIN POWERS - A complete comedy spy who is a super sexy English spy with not much going for him in the way of intelligence but highly in the way of sex appeal. Powers is constantly trying to thwart the plans of Dr Evil but often ends up with his mojo getting in the way.

There are five movie spies for you. Let me know your favourite from the list in the comments below.

THE BOURNE LEGACY - A major glitch in the Bourne machine

The second film we went to see this weekend was the fourth film to be released in a franchise that is very highly rated. There was something about this film that was telling me to not bother with it, but knowing that the other half was keen on it I thought; what could possibly go wrong? I can tell you what can go wrong and that is bringing a fantastic franchise down to a just above average. That is the review of myself and the girlfriend who was so intrigued by the brilliant trailer that she was desperate to see it. I'm just going to come out and say it; despite the top actors committed to the film it really is not very good at all.

One of the first issues with the film is that it is boring! The opening half is so slow and nothing really happens that I found myself drifting from wide awake to yawning my head off. We begin the film in the Alaskan mountains, where Renner's Aaron Cross is partaking in a training exercise where he must recover an object and take it to a rendezvous point over the mountains. At least this is what I think was happening as this sequence is inter cut with expositional stories involving Jason Bourne which had me scampering my brain to remember what happened in the previous films. From the gist of it this new Bourne entry runs parallel to the first Bourne and the issues raised in that film have recurring effects across all Government programmes, which includes Edward Norton's 'Outcome' agents who have been fed drugs in order to make them ultimately superior than anyone else. Due to the coming out of 'Treadstone', Norton must shut his programme down which means killing everyone involved. From here Renner and Rachel Weisz join forces to weed Renner off the drugs and escape every Government force hot on their tail.

The plot actually sounds more interesting as I write it as opposed to when I watched it because I tell you now the plot didn't grip me one bit. It seemed so simple compared to the deep complex narrative of the other Bourne films, that it made this one boring. It also showed how unenthusiastic this story is as it seems to be confused as to where it stands within the bigger Bourne universe. I really did not enjoy the plot of this film, and as I said before it didn't grip me one bit. Not even the characters could get me excited as I never cared for one of them. It was quite difficult to sympathise with a main character who was in a sense searching for drugs due to withdrawal symptoms. This would have worked if the drugs were forced on him but we see a flashback which shows he actually asked to be involved in the programme. Renner does his best to get us on board but I'm afraid it never really works.

The direction of the film also didn't help in getting me hooked. Too many shot choices had me confused as to where I was and to who was talking to who. There were also some odd decisions such as Renner showing up just at the right moment without any reason to, and without prior knowledge to what was happening, to save Weisz's life. A bit too coincidental for me, especially later on when car doors would be left unlocked or motorbike engines left running, I'm sorry but Jason Bourne never worked on coincidence. There is also an evil bad guy brought in far too late for any of us to actually fear for Cross's safety. I can't help thinking that if it was mentioned throughout that this man was more powerful than Cross than I would have been scared when they finally met up. Unfortunately this nemesis is brought in far too late, and they never have a hand combat fight anyway. What was the point?

The only thing that was particularly good about this was the final chase sequence but it wasn't any better than what Matt Damon's Bourne was involved in. Renner isn't too bad in the role but I have seen Weisz in better form and Norton's character was overshadowed by too many other characters and that was noticeable in his performance. I can't say I was overly disappointed but I think the girlfriend was. In the end she even admitted that the trailer itself was ten times better than the film. If I can make a suggestion; watch The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, and The Bourne Ultimatum and completely forget that this one ever existed.

Pros: Final chase sequence.

Cons: Poor plot that tries too hard to fit into an already polished franchise.

5 / 10

Top 10 films of 2012 so far:

1. The Dark Knight Rises     10 / 10
2. The Hunger Games     8 / 10
3. Snow White And The Huntsman     8 / 10
4. Avengers Assemble     7.5 / 10
5. Ted     7.5 / 10
6. 21 Jump Street     7.5 / 10
7. The Expendables 2     7 / 10
8. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol     7 / 10
9. The Grey     7 / 10
10. Prometheus     6.5 / 10

THE EXPENDABLES 2 - Stallone's tongue is firmly in cheek

Let me just start off by apologising for not having updated in the past week. Having been away on a very important course, I have failed to keep up to date with cinema trips and any news going on in the film world. Despite the course being pivotal to the industry to which I would love to stamp my authority, I have missed heading out on a Friday or Saturday night to see the latest film of the week. That was only missing one weekend imagine if I missed more. So without further ado let me tell you what I thought of The Expendables 2 which is the first of two films I will be seeing this weekend. The first Expendables was fun, with no story line to note, mediocre acting, corny dialogue, and a complete homage for 80's action flicks with some of the 80's best action heroes. This second instalment is exactly the same only bigger and a hell of a lot better.

The opening fifteen minutes of the film is brilliant. An action sequence in where our Expendable heroes have to ram raid their way into a city of Nepal in order to save a powerful Chinese politician. Their entrance, their fight and their escape are thrilling and your bum with be on the edge of your seat throughout. The direction of the whole sequence is superb, with everything looking as realistic as it can. Once your heart has settled back down in your chest we are introduced to the newest member of their team who is desperate to quit in order to return to his girlfriend, after their next mission though which is to pick up a box which was securely stored on a plane which was shot down over Albania. This box can not fall into the wrong hands is the understatement of the film told by Bruce Willis' Mr Church. Of course this is exactly what happens at the expense of one of Stallone's expendables, so he takes his now slightly depleted team after the people responsible to gain unholy revenge. The story of it all is the weakest part but we are more than willing to forgive that given that it isn't about story and is more about simply arse kicking.

Jean Claude Van Damme is the man to play our villain and to be fair he was brilliant in his role. It was when he was on screen that the film took itself seriously, and the tongue in cheek humour never came from his character. Unfortunately he was not in the film quite as much as I had hoped because he really did steal it when he was on screen. Other actors are just their typical selves, not that it is a problem as once again this is not what the film is about. The film is like a montage to old school action films, and the tone flits between serious to satirical. What is good about it is that director Simon West has captured the moments where satire and deepness are needed. Like I said when JCVD is on screen there is no light heartedness. His story thread is pure evil being the man willing to sell plutonium around the world in order to supply bomb makers. When the story is following our expendables however we are given the laugh out loud moments which most people have come to see. The moments where Chuck Norris turns up and states a Chuck Norris 'fact'. Or when an action hero arrives and states that he is back! Or when heroes pinch each other's lines form their most well known films. It is a film that you just watch with a smile on your face as it is a serious story that they are not taking too seriously. They all know what they are doing.

There are moments that don't work for the film however. The Expendable who is killed is one with little emotional impact, and the way they try to make it more emotional is by adding in some pretty on the nose expositional dialogue for this character which after he is killed off seems very pointless indeed. However at least with this we don't lose one of the main Expendables we have come to see. Also some of the sound quality is poor. Whether this is the capturing of the sound of the mumbling of the actors I don't know, but unless they are shouting corny lines they seem to mumble their way through them as if they are embarrassed to say them. The picture quality at times also seemed a little blurry. This could have been a point to the old action films but in today's world of HD I felt that it could have been a lot better. Despite all of these we do get some very good moments which include the acting from the villains, JCVD and Scott Adkins are both great, which is better than the heroes as they are the seriousness of the film. There are some great fight scenes between Statham and Adkins, and mainly Van Damme and Stallone which rivals the fantastic fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock in Fast And The Furious 5. The only disappointment was that the Stallone fight wasn't longer. The cameo from Chuck Norris is also worth the watch.

To sum up see this film if you want to have a hell of a lot of fun, because that is exactly what it is. Don't see if for in depth character study, see it for action and humour because that is what makes this film good. It is so much fun that I had a smile on my face the whole time. The story is weak, and seems to be paper thin in order to get the big cameos in, but what would you rather in this film. It is all about the big cameos and the 'my gun's bigger than yours' tone, and because of this The Expendables 2 surpasses its predecessor and also shines brighter than some of the other action films of this year that have taken themselves far too seriously.

Pros: Had me smiling throughout and despite some poor acting from them the cameos are great fun.

Cons: Not enough Jet Li.

7 / 10

Top 10 of 2012 so far:

1. The Dark Knight Rises     10 / 10
2. The Hunger Games     8 / 10
3. Snow White And The Huntsman     8 / 10
4. Avengers Assemble     7.5 / 10
5. Ted     7.5 / 10
6. 21 Jump Street     7.5 / 10
7. The Expendables 2     7 / 10
8. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol     7 / 10
9. The Grey     7 / 10
10. Prometheus     6.5 / 10

COLOMBIANA movie review

Colombiana

Starring: Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue & Jordi Molia

Running time: 108 minutes

Year: 2011

Directed By: Olivier Megaton

Written By: Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen

Colombiana trailer

Luc Besson is well known for his typical assassin films such as Leon, Nikita, and Taken. Colombiana fits in this category so if you are going to see this film as you believe it will be something new and original then turn back now as that is not what you are going to get. However if you decide to watch this with a loose thinking cap on then I have to say you will be thoroughly entertained because I certainly was.

It is not the greatest film ever to be released and it isn't Besson's best film either. The story he is written up here is fairly simple to follow and you won't be scratching your head trying to figure it out, but you may be scratching it with some odd plot points that seem to disappear half way through. The film then begins in 1992 where we meet an assassin in Colombia. He tells his boss that he is done with the assassin game and wants to spend time with his family; however the boss doesn't accept this and kills his former assassin and his wife in front of their daughter. Before they were killed however they managed to explain to their daughter what to do if they were killed, which involves taking a microchip to the police and getting herself to her Uncle's in America. After a chase through Bogota, the young girl manages to escape, hand the chip in at the Embassy, and be shipped to America where she meets her Uncle and promises to train to be the best hit woman and gain revenge.

Catalaia, the young girl, grows up to be Zoe Saldana and is a hit woman for hire bossed by her Uncle. However on the side she is slowly picking off the members of the gang who killed her parents, and leaving them with a wild orchid painted on their chests in order to tell the big boss that she is coming for him. The first hit we witness her doing brings the attention of the FBI and we are introduced to a typical agent whose job it is to stop the killer in their tracks.

The story is very simple. It is a typical revenge thriller with a couple of side twists thrown in to try and make it a little more thoughtful. However it doesn't need to be any more thoughtful because Colombiana is at its most fun when it is just mindless action. There are a lot of inconsistencies to overlook to enjoy it though. Such as a grown woman hiding in extremely large ventilation ducts which seem to lead into each prison cell in a heavily guarded prison, but if you can get past this you will completely enjoy watching the gorgeous Zoe Saldana look incredibly sexy waltzing round in skin tight, or minimal, clothing clasping onto an assault rifle which looks way too big for her to be carrying.

That is where the film is at its best; when we are simply admiring Zoe doing her thing. She is very good in the role and really packs a punch quite literally. The tagline is 'revenge is beautiful' and that is captured very well with Saldana doing her stuff. Saldana and the major actions set pieces are the reasons to watch this film.

With the few positives of the film there are negatives. There are too many characters that are just pointless and simply there to fill a gap. Take for example the love interest of Catalaia. He does inadvertadly do wrong by her but the character is never fleshed out and it is hard to believe he would sympathise with her when he realises she is a cold blooded assassin. The FBI agent is also highly clichéd, and Catalaia's Uncle is told to have had a son who was killed but that thread is quickly quashed and nothing else is said. This is the same with the chip at the beginning which is never mentioned again, but I do presume it is a list of the people involved in assassination and these people then become protected by the CIA after this. This is something I have guessed at, and something I've only thought of whilst writing this review, as nothing is mentioned of it again. It also seems slightly odd that the top gangsters in Colombia are protected by the CIA so I have simply put two and two together. It is a bit weird not to have this strand fleshed out considering how simple the rest of the plot is.

Anyway this film has a few positives and quite a few negatives. For mindless action this is a top film but if you take that away it is nothing. As a matter of fact the action was going to give Colombiana quite a good score from me, until the final act where the action became a little cheesy and clichéd, which ruined it slightly. For a bit of fun watch this film, and if you know much about Besson or Director Olivier Megaton than you will know exactly what to expect before you even sit down to watch it.

3 / 5

Next film to review: REAL STEEL

New on DVD this weekend: Battleship

With the weather being so fantastic at the moment it may be pointless me letting you know what is to be released on DVD this week as I don't suppose many will be heading out to get a film and sit inside. However if you are anything like me and the weather does not dictate what you do but the wonderful world of movies does then take a look below at the 3 films to be released on DVD this week. This is my last post for the week so you will need to wait till the weekend to read my review on The Expendables 2. Until then wish me luck as I venture to Edinburgh to take part in The Network hosted alongside the Edinburgh Festival. Have a good week and get out and rent one of these films anyway!!!

BATTLESHIP - Based on the board game of the same name, Liam Neeson and Taylor Kitsch star as army officers who are faced with alien ships emerging from the waters and attacking the cities.

Battleship trailer

LOCKOUT - Guy Pearce stars in this futuristic action flick. He plays Snow who is a convicted felon sent onto an outer space prison to rescue the President's daughter who was on board it when the prisoners managed to escape.

Lockout trailer

Recommended

MARLEY - A documentary about the life, music and death of the Reggae master himself Bob Marley.

 Marley trailer