V. I. Warshawski
Starring:
Kathleen
Turner, Jay O. Sanders, Charles Durning, Angela Goethals.
Running
time: 89 minutes
Year:
1991
Directed
By: Jeff
Kanew
Written
By: Edward
Taylor, David Aaron Cohen & Nick Thiel
I had a problem with this film right from the start.
It is a problem that I would not have noticed if I had watched it in 1991 when
it was released, but being four years old at the time there was not much chance
that I had watched it. Watching it in 2012 however may be a problem for some
people and it is a problem that will have your mind wandering from the so
called plot and onto something else entirely. Those 'some' people though would
have to be Friends fans and that is
because Kathleen Turner, the lead of this movie, plays Chandler Bing's Dad, yes
Dad, in the hit US comedy show. This to me was a major issue as I just couldn't
take the actress seriously. When she kissed her on-off boyfriend I couldn't
help but think it was two men kissing. Not that it would be an issue if it was
two men but I couldn't take the character of VI Warshawski seriously.
Before I dig a hole with the stereotype of Mr
Kathleen Turner, sorry Mrs Kathleen Turner, I will mention that she is also the
voice of Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed
Roger Rabbit? This created another problem because she has a really sexy
voice. If I closed my eyes I could hear a sexy, long legged, red headed cartoon
with huge breasts and when I opened my eyes I would see Chandler Bing's Father.
This was a confusing time for me.
I'll move on with the film, it isn't good. In fact
it is so poorly directed and written that it would have been better doing the
Jessica Rabbit, Chandler Bing's Dad cross character, as it would have made this
film much more interesting. It was corny and cheesy and most of the acting was
absolutely dreadful which made lines that possibly weren't intended on being
corny even more corny.
The film is about Private Investigator Vicky
Warshawski. She meets a man in a bar and later on that night he turns up at her
door asking her to look after his daughter. Is that normal behaviour towards someone
you've just met? She agrees, he goes off, is murdered and Warshawski intends on
solving the mystery. She involves the daughter and they head off on a girl
beats man mission. Every line is a comment to chauvinistic men. 'Us girls
should stick together', that kind of poor dialogue.
The plot is a complete wash over and everything is
just far too easy. There is no investigating what so ever and the first clue
they receive seems to be the only one they need, as the case was obvious from
the very first minute. I thought an investigation film needed to keep the
viewer in the dark and spring an unbelievable surprise right at the end.
Obviously not. The action scenes are dull. A boat chase where nothing happens
and a final shoot out which just sucks.
The only good thing from the film was the array of
actors that you will see in films and programmes of today. We have a scientist
from The Day After Tomorrow, a cop
from Dog Day Afternoon, the small
stupid pirate from Pirates Of The Caribbean,
the caretaker of the building in Friends
and Wayne Knight, the man who gets spat in the face by a dinosaur in Jurassic Park. There is also a cameo
from the Ghostbusters's building, I'm sure of it.
At least this review has come to something. It has
reminded us of all the other decent films out there that are a hundred times
better than this one. I seem to have mentioned more films unrelated to this one
than I have the one I'm reviewing. By all accounts Warshawski was a series of detective novels that portrayed the character
completely differently to how she is portrayed by the film makers. Perhaps it
could have been a better film if some reading of the novels had been done, but
that clearly hadn't happened. I'll sum up V.I.
Warshawski in three words; don't bother watching.
1
/ 5
Tolli
Next film to review: W.
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