Colombiana
Starring:
Zoe
Saldana, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue & Jordi Molia
Running
time: 108 minutes
Year:
2011
Directed
By: Olivier
Megaton
Written
By: Luc
Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
Luc Besson is well known for his typical assassin
films such as Leon, Nikita, and Taken. Colombiana fits in this category so if you are going to see this
film as you believe it will be something new and original then turn back now as
that is not what you are going to get. However if you decide to watch this with
a loose thinking cap on then I have to say you will be thoroughly entertained
because I certainly was.
It is not the greatest film ever to be released and
it isn't Besson's best film either. The story he is written up here is fairly simple
to follow and you won't be scratching your head trying to figure it out, but
you may be scratching it with some odd plot points that seem to disappear half
way through. The film then begins in 1992 where we meet an assassin in
Colombia. He tells his boss that he is done with the assassin game and wants to
spend time with his family; however the boss doesn't accept this and kills his
former assassin and his wife in front of their daughter. Before they were
killed however they managed to explain to their daughter what to do if they
were killed, which involves taking a microchip to the police and getting
herself to her Uncle's in America. After a chase through Bogota, the young girl
manages to escape, hand the chip in at the Embassy, and be shipped to America
where she meets her Uncle and promises to train to be the best hit woman and
gain revenge.
Catalaia, the young girl, grows up to be Zoe Saldana
and is a hit woman for hire bossed by her Uncle. However on the side she is
slowly picking off the members of the gang who killed her parents, and leaving
them with a wild orchid painted on their chests in order to tell the big boss
that she is coming for him. The first hit we witness her doing brings the
attention of the FBI and we are introduced to a typical agent whose job it is
to stop the killer in their tracks.
The story is very simple. It is a typical revenge
thriller with a couple of side twists thrown in to try and make it a little
more thoughtful. However it doesn't need to be any more thoughtful because Colombiana is at its most fun when it is
just mindless action. There are a lot of inconsistencies to overlook to enjoy
it though. Such as a grown woman hiding in extremely large ventilation ducts
which seem to lead into each prison cell in a heavily guarded prison, but if
you can get past this you will completely enjoy watching the gorgeous Zoe
Saldana look incredibly sexy waltzing round in skin tight, or minimal, clothing
clasping onto an assault rifle which looks way too big for her to be carrying.
That is where the film is at its best; when we are
simply admiring Zoe doing her thing. She is very good in the role and really
packs a punch quite literally. The tagline is 'revenge is beautiful' and that
is captured very well with Saldana doing her stuff. Saldana and the major
actions set pieces are the reasons to watch this film.
With the few positives of the film there are
negatives. There are too many characters that are just pointless and simply
there to fill a gap. Take for example the love interest of Catalaia. He does
inadvertadly do wrong by her but the character is never fleshed out and it is
hard to believe he would sympathise with her when he realises she is a cold
blooded assassin. The FBI agent is also highly clichéd, and Catalaia's Uncle is
told to have had a son who was killed but that thread is quickly quashed and
nothing else is said. This is the same with the chip at the beginning which is
never mentioned again, but I do presume it is a list of the people involved in
assassination and these people then become protected by the CIA after this.
This is something I have guessed at, and something I've only thought of whilst
writing this review, as nothing is mentioned of it again. It also seems
slightly odd that the top gangsters in Colombia are protected by the CIA so I
have simply put two and two together. It is a bit weird not to have this strand
fleshed out considering how simple the rest of the plot is.
Anyway this film has a few positives and quite a few
negatives. For mindless action this is a top film but if you take that away it
is nothing. As a matter of fact the action was going to give Colombiana quite a good score from me,
until the final act where the action became a little cheesy and clichéd, which
ruined it slightly. For a bit of fun watch this film, and if you know much
about Besson or Director Olivier Megaton than you will know exactly what to
expect before you even sit down to watch it.
3
/ 5
Next film to review: REAL STEEL
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